This past Friday I got up at 8:30 after going to be just 5 hours earlier at 3:30am…

The reason I got up so early was I headed down the street to our local Port City Java to meet with Wayne Harris for some coffee and so much more. Wayne Harris is an extraordinary follower of Christ who has taught me so much from the day he came on staff at PC3. Wayne has recently began his next step in God’s plan which includes not being on staff at PC3. God has so much in store for Wayne I can’t wait to see what unveils in the future.

But that future may be sooner than later, because over the next couple months I will be meeting with Wayne every Friday morning for about two hours to discuss my role as leader in my family and at work at PC3. And after a full two hours packed full of leadership and wisdom from this past Friday it will be incredible to see how God stretches me now. Since I will be meeting with Wayne each week I know that this will be where I let you guys in on some of the insight and thoughts brought to the table between us I will not keep you too long.

But I will say this… I asked him to email me the “homework” question or two he had for me and remind me to pick out the book we are to begin to read together. Six hours later I receive at least a full page typed email of “homework” and things we discussed that morning. Fellas, that is the type of mentor you want sitting across the table. 

Here are a couple of the things I am working on this week. Below is part of my email from Wayne…

---

Today we talked about what is going to go into the box – that one thing that God is calling me to be. In the past I have called it my biblical purpose. I think I like the term my biblical identity better. Whichever they both form the same thing. Here are some thoughts on biblical purpose/identity and a process I have used to work on this. (Use it if it is helpful to you.)

1. Declares the Reason You Exist: Primarily a “being” statement

2. Reflects the Heart of God: Kingdom perspective

3. Clarifies what is Non-Negotiable: True north (magnetic north changes depending on where you are on the earth. True north is always true north.)

Here is a process I have followed:
1. Begin by asking “What Scriptures has God used to give focus, purpose, and direction to your life? List those verses and summarize the insight(s) you gained from each verse.
2. Review these familiar verses and summarize the insights they provide regarding the question of purpose or identity for a believer’s life. (Some of these may have been on your personal list.)

- Matthew 22:37-40
- Matthew 28:18-20
- John 15:1-11
- John 13:34-35
- Romans 15:6-7
- 2 Corinthians 4:7-11
- Philippians 3: 7-10
- Colossians 2:6-7
- 2 Peter 1:5-11

3. Based on your reflection on these Scriptures, ask yourself these questions as a means to help you think through God’s purpose/identity for your life.

- Why do I exist as a person?
- Apart from what I do, what gives my life its deepest meaning?
- Why did God create me?
- What is my response to God’s work of grace and salvation on my behalf?

4. In single words or in phrases, what themes have emerged from your review of and reflections on the Scriptures? List them.

5. Write your first draft of your biblical purpose/identity. (Remember, it isn’t a lengthy “to do” list of Christian expectations. It should be concise, describing why a person exists based on Scripture. Try to keep it a being and a relational statement.)

---

And here are some questions I must answer before we get this thing going. So if you are reading this and are beginning/thinking about mentoring someone. Or you are looking for mentor be sure to look at the following questions…

• How long do we want to meet when we meet?
• How often do we want to meet
• How many weeks/months? (I always find it useful to set some renewable time limits.)
• What are the boundaries for our discussion? (Are there things that we must cover and are there some things that are off limits?)
• What are the expectations?
• Confidentiality
• Anything you can think of???

---

Ok, time for me to go to bed. But I begin my homework tomorrow morning. Goodnight!

I am heading to Barnes and Nobles to pick up one of my favorite author’s new book. But instead of teh usual Business book, he is focusign on the most important organization known to man… the “Family”! Here is Pat Lencioni’s impassioned message for focusing on the family from his August 27 newsletter — please take two minutes:

---

      
Pat’s POV (Point of View)

Most leaders I know have multiple jobs, even if they are only paid to do one of them. For instance, I am a leader of a small company, but I have leadership roles in my church, on my sons’ soccer, baseball and basketball teams, and of course, in my family. However, when I think about all of those roles, and the constituencies who are impacted by them, I cannot help but conclude that my wife and kids have received short shrift when it comes to my leadership time and energy. 

After all, I’ve spent hours and days and weeks thinking, reading and meeting about how to better run my company. I’ve worked with my team to identify our core values and to clarify our strategy. And I’ve worked to ensure that those values and strategies have been implemented consistently over time so that our firm can maximize its potential.

Within my church, I’ve spent many hours in long meetings developing plans to ensure that we’re utilizing our resources in the best possible way. And I regularly spend time preparing for each soccer or basketball practice I lead, and on multiple occasions I’ve attended two-day classes to make me a better soccer coach. I’ve even read a stack of books on soccer to give me an added edge.

And then there is my family, the most important organization in my life. How many books have I read about running an effective family? Zero. How many family management classes have I attended? None. And how many off-sites have my wife and I had to improve the way we organize and lead our children? You know the answer. 

As common as this is for many family leaders who also work in the ‘real’ world, it just doesn’t make any sense. When we fail to be purposeful and proactive about the way we plan and run our home lives, our families become reactive, unfulfilled and frantic. And though we might not see a direct, short-term connection between this and downstream difficulties like divorce and childhood stress, it is hard to deny such a connection. Ongoing frustration and disillusionment among parents, even when it is minor, cannot help but have an impact on family members. 

So what is a family to do? Something. Anything is better than sitting back and reacting to the next request or opportunity that comes along without any context. And that word ‘context’ is key. It is what is missing from most frantic organizations, especially families. 

Context provides leaders with a framework and a perspective that they need so that every opportunity that arises doesn’t create a stressful dilemma. In the business world, a leader deciding to acquire a company or pursue a client or hire a candidate for a job, can often fall back on a clear set of values, strategic priorities or goals that will allow him to make consistently good decisions and retain a measure of sanity in the process. 

The same is true at home. Without clear context, our lives become reactionary and stressful and often a guilt-driven act of daily survival rather than the joyful, intentional experience that it is meant to be. Should we sign Johnny up for lacrosse? Go on vacation with the Martins? Remodel our home like the Jones’ or buy a summer cabin like the Johnsons? If there is nothing clear to fall back on, each decision will create unnecessary anxiety, not to mention months or years of potential regret. 

So what exactly can families do to get some relief? They need to create a sense of context by answering a few simple questions, and then use those answers to guide their decisions. The questions have to do with a family’s core values, strategic priorities and near-term goals. And once those answers are set, the family needs to keep them alive and use them on a daily, weekly and monthly basis. Of course, it’s key to keep all of this simple and practical, and avoid overly structured or bureaucratic approaches, because families have even less time and tolerance for bureaucracy and protocol than companies do.

More detailed information about the questions a family must answer and the methods for using those answers on a regular basis are included in my new book, The Three Big Questions for a Frantic Family. But for those of you who receive this newsletter and would like to get more information including a free downloadable tool, click here  

I hope this short article, and possibly the book and simple tool that go with it, help your family to become a little less frantic and a lot more purposeful and peaceful. 
Yours,